poetry for the masses « the view from here

the beach.

Aug 23
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the wind, pushed forward by the waves of the sea

(as if propelled)

moves across the sand,

gracefully

surprisingly gracefully.

so that when it reaches me

it’s a soft exhale

that moves the fine unkempt hairs

horizontally

over my closed eye lids.

who knew that even when

the wind makes us ticklish

we can contemplate

the world.

Posted in poetry for the masses

May 19
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The fiery sun of my passions

evaporates the love lakes of my soul
Clouds my thoughts

and reigns you into existence

-saul williams

May 08
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i am everyone
and at the same time

i am also no one.

fear grips
as i wait for the blow
that inflicts

irrevocable suffering

but

i am untouched.
invisible.
a mere bystander
powerless to change
anything.

where are you,
oh magician in the sky?
where are you,
oh crusader of some righteous cause,
defender of the weak?

where were you?

like the man
after your heart,
like the man
who was also
painfully aware

i too,
weep in the dark.

we are not so
resilient.

and so we cry
to the one who does not slumber,
who sends Comfort
to the very ones

who wait for
desperation
before asking

where are you?

you are there

powerful
powerless

invisible,
you wait for the blow

because you too
are everyone.
and at the same time,
no one.

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry

Apr 21
2 Comments

i regret
that we did not
together
rise early
and watch the ocean

alone
i let the mist
rest on my face
and cling to the fine strands of hair
that are being tossed back and forth
covering my eyes, nose mouth.

blown by the wind.

the waves explode
in rhythm
collapsing onto the
soaked sand;
draining back to their source

they drag my thoughts out to sea.

i consider the fact
that i am incredibly small
in the scheme of things

the scheme of
the ocean
distance
sadness
people
you

and the position of
myself
in the midst of it all.

i regret
that we did not
together
rise early
and watch the ocean

there is awe here
and i wonder if this place
could have also

dragged your
hopeless thoughts
out to sea.

Posted in poetry for the masses

Mar 31
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you were merely
you

and i was merely
i

and the meager mereness
of our
nearness

billowing,

we.

you
and
me.

Posted in poetry for the masses, random, apparently

Mar 17
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last night
i again found myself
tossing and turning,
considering, deliberating
the endless thoughts
and implications-

that keep me awake,
but eventually
become dreams
while i sleep.

i was
ruminating
you, You, him

and
the duct tape that is
scarcely
holding the binding of my
textbook together.

i couldn’t differentiate
which was of most importance
at the moment.

they all intersected at some point
weaving and connecting
even if they are
unrelated.

and so it was:
questions of death and dying
security
the lack of it,

love,
and then.

not love
?

and the unknown function of the appendix

you four frustrate me
keeping me up at night
with questions
that cannot be answered,
but only asked

yet
despite much coffee and confusion
all of you, I love.

yes, even the book
that is held together
by that amazing
grey sticky stuff.

photo-88

anatomy and physiology book… you are BEAT!

Posted in my random life, poetry for the masses
Tags: life, poetry

calmer waters.

Feb 18
3 Comments

life was so….

(please insert 5 synonyms for “busy”)

but now it’s seems as if it’s not.

feeling minor displacement

i find myself awkwardly still

but this time i can’t fight it

and i know it’s time to test these quiet waters

of the mundane.

painfully silent in my own little

rowboat

i watch the symmetrical pattern that ripples make.

that’s You.

i feel the intense heat from the sun that beats down.

that’s more of You.

((i’ll try not to shield myself too much))

my little rowboat gently rocks

as if tapped by Your gentle wind

in these new and clam waters

i listen

breathe You in

exhale me out

and somewhat gracefully

fall

to envelop myself

in this refreshing sea of You

with

me.

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: life, poetry, religion

is the snow really truly melting?? (or… sometimes i miss the northwest))

Feb 11
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this morning,
half awake and heavy-eyed
i pulled back my curtain

exposing

a radiant, practically luminous
cloudless ocean of
happiness.

pausing

i wondered if it was a trick
this bright welcoming sun,
was it merely 9º?

…sneaky blue sky

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry, weather

one year tomorrow.

Jan 29
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i have been counting to

three hundred and sixty five.

it looms
like a dark cloud
to engulf me

it was fifteen months ago
when i penned the first words
to her
so I could begin to fill the
empty space of
memories never made.

and i never imagined
that only four months later
i would pen the first words
to you.
grieving the memories
we can no longer make

i hate these days
these grey days
where white covers everything
like a secret
hidden beneath the
guise of such beauty.

toothy smiles to veil
the ugly truth
too unbearable to face

the arrant permanency of
your absence.

in the frigid air
my breath is a
wisp that fades before me

cruelly dissipating.

like
your voice
your laugh

(they are now leaving me also)

and i can not bear the
thought
of how

i am left here with
a void t0o deep to fill,
the deafening silence that i fear
no melody will ever
drown out

Posted in poetry for the masses

the pang of heartache. therein…somewhere, lies forgiveness.

Jan 21
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i feel at a loss for words
not for a lack of them
but because I am searching
for the right
ones…

i was going to write a witty little thing
that would make you laugh

about the snow
about the cold
about the inevitably
clumsy situations
i often find myself
in

however,
(and there is almost always a however)
it seems we learn to hide behind
the things that make us laugh

so it was after I almost slipped on the ice
for the third time that day
or after
i stood in awe of the icicles
that attach themselves to the
gutters

when I made unnecessary tracks
in the drifts of snow
piled carelessly on the side of the road.

i exhaled out the bitter air.
somehow, in my own way
embracing the
numbing chill that filled my lungs
and stung my skin

i thought about how i
enjoy
the sound of silence
that snowflakes make
when they fall

navigating through
convoluted thoughts
i wondered
at the concept of
remorse
and asked myself if it can
negate the pains inflicted

can such a response
elicit
a lonely satisfaction
that stems from your guilt?

because anger has given way
to loss.
(though understanding
still evades me)

is this
acceptance
of the deeds
that have been done?

or is this what the beginning of
what forgiveness looks like?

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: forgiveness, grief, life, poetry

oh life.

Nov 02
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i am ambivalent

for the twenty first time this week,

which is three times today,

at least.

i am pondering options

again.

and the choices

that lie always

before me

this muddled mess of

privilege and

passion.

talent,

tangled

with the

felt truth

that i have everyone

but myself

to Please

makes me wish

i could take it all apart

unravel this

mass of confusion

separate the pieces of

displaced motives

and

misplaced time.

i would like to

lay it all out into

neat

organized piles

of maturity

and

commitment

but the choices

that are so

impressively

structured

tidy

and sure

i find

often make it difficult

to drift off to

sleep at night

because the answers

that never seem to come

with the questions

that never seem to stop

and the worries

that i stubbornly

hold onto.

play over and

over

and over

in my mind

this knot

that can not be so easily undone,

formed from my own

reluctance

and

formed in

the pit of my stomach

is slowly undoing me.

Posted in my random life, poetry for the masses
Tags: life, poetry

for nine months

Oct 31
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it lingers heavy in the air

the melancholy thickness

wrapped around

grey and green

that attaches itself to

these reminders

these markers of time.

on the outskirts

around the perimeter

and onto the threads

of your old blue sweater

i cling

i breathe

and remember

but

with my hand moving dirt

into little piles

adjacent to

you

i bury it

in this

shallow void

the things too hard to feel

but are felt anyway.

the face that is too hard to see

but is seared into my mind’s

eye

i look up

through the

cold and empty blur

and wonder

how it is

that i feel

you hold the world,

but not

me.

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry

“If you ask me, the most obvious thing that happened after the Fall was that people started wearing all kinds of clothes. Just go to the store and look around and you will see people wearing clothes. Everywhere you go you see people wearing clothes. Even as I type these words I am wearing clothes. I mean, evolution may explain how we came from apes, but does nothing to explain why we wear clothes.”

oi. donald miller. you crack me up to no end.

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: humor, random, religion

Jul 31
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remember that little comment i wrote a few months back?

“i anticipate this summer to be quite telling for me, ending with a reemergence of clarity for my life. expect a blog near or on that date which will divulge my plans for the immediate future.”

i am laughing and rolling my eyes at myself.

oh, me.

here i sit

the end of summer has arrived

the plans are made

but they are set in clay.

i’ve thought the thoughts

in this process of

mine

the purchases are purchased

the schedules are scheduled

they are settled.

and i am not.

because

as time keeps moving forward

my awareness

that I must once again

check another bag

remove my shoes as I walk through security

and turn around that one last time

to catch a glimpse

and

wave goodbye

to someone I love

is drawing near

and

i hate to have to bear it again.

will the clay harden to stone?

will a fateful call,

which forever rings in my ears

always loom

close behind?

only time can tell.

so while i sit here wishing i could

turn back time

slow it down

speed it up

put it on pause

so i can catch my breath.

my tangled and confused thoughts

rise to you

and i wonder

are you still proud of me?

Posted in my random life, poetry for the masses, wandering
Tags: life, poetry, religion

ode to summer.

Jul 28
1 Comment

o my summer.
my summer of wandering;
sometimes lost, sometimes not,
sometimes roaming seemingly aimlessly through this maddening world
looking for a safe place to land
and sometimes finding it.
bold, and undaunted you are my courageous summer
you never allow the mishaps, and tragedies, and just plain
bullshit

to fetter you
or keep you from
literally doing the cliché:
taking the road which is almost never traveled
the one that will take you to the places you
know you must fly through

squinting
as i peek at you through the condensation forming on the glass of this
mohillo

i find myself perplexed and intrigued by this beautiful season,
which somehow alighted upon my shoulder
and whispered in my ear

sharing
laughter, the complexities of life, the tragedy of love, the evolution of faith, secret fears, the flash of the camera, the love handles that hug our hips, and the doctors that piss us off,
but most of all

randomness.

you are most definitely
my summer of beauty,
my summer of safety

my summer in israel

not Yours
damn you.

Posted in my random life, poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry, random, religion

the death of sunday

Mar 08
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today i thought,

“it doesn’t feel like sunday.”

then i realized

i don’t know what sunday feels like anymore.

i think it is important for you to know

that this revelation i had,

while sitting there in the woods,

as i looked up at the light pouring through the cracks in those

dense green branches;

was intensely profound for me.

as i basked in Beauty

i pondered what it meant that i didn’t feel a void

like i thought i should

shouldn’t i feel shame or remorse?

i had not previously considered

the implications of the death of a day of the week.

an extra day to not set my alarm; a day of carefree

laziness

and

sleeping in.

no more masks, pedestals, expectations

or love that comes with condition

if i feel any guilt at all, it only comes from my lack of it

because in all honesty

i don’t really miss you.

so may you rest in peace sunday.

i grieve

for what you

could have been

what you should have been

maybe someday i will discover that you have

returned from the dead.

and that you are not what you once were…

but for now

i’ll turn over and burrow further down into my

safe and warm blankets

to dream of better days.

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry

litany

Feb 29
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i’m supposed to be reading a poem for my friend’s wedding next month, and omigosh- is it ridiculously difficult to find a good love poem!

her taste is a lot like mine so here are the perimeters:

*no cheese.

*not something everyone else has heard.

*preferably something from this era.

I probably won’t be reading this one, it might be too off the wall, even for her, but 1 love it.

Billy Collins people.

You’re welcome.

LitanY.

You are the bread and the knife,

the crystal goblet and the wine.

You are the dew on the morning grass

and the burning wheel of the sun.

You are the white apron of the baker

and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,

the plums on the counter,

or the house of cards.

And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.

There is just no way you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,

maybe even the pigeon on the general’s head,

but you are not even close

to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show

that you are neither the boots in the corner

nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,

speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,

that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,

the evening paper blowing down an alley,

and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees

and the blind woman’s tea cup.

But don’t worry, I am not the bread and the knife.

You are still the bread and the knife.

You will always be the bread and the knife,

not to mention the crystal goblet and–somehow– the wine.

the happy couple

Posted in my random life, poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry

Feb 08
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it seems unfathomable

that the days keep

passing

the sun rises

then dips behind the clouds at night

the earth keeps revolving

and

all around me

the people are steadily

changing.

laughing, touching, looking at,

and talking to

one another

all around me

everything is moving

and nobody

stops

not for you

and certainly

not for

me.

i am here

unmoving, silent

not forward, not backward.

just still,

yet at the same time

i am sinking

and i think

that it would comfort me

much

if there was someone

who could observe with me

that the world is moving way too fast

the hands on the clock won’t stop ticking by

you are not here with me

and nothing is

okay

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry

bests friends…

Dec 27
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if you could read me

all the intricate pieces of my heart

carefully turning the pages

not scanning.

no cliff notes.

but pouring over every word

studying.

analyzing.

trying to understand every complicated chapter of my life

piecing together how it has shaped who i am

i would want you to never stop reading

this novel

that is me

and when you found out

who i am

who i really am

when you realized that there is not one

paragraph

phrase

word

or punctuation mark that you would change

then the pages of my tattered heart

might begin to be repaired

because someone will have finally read me

from cover to cover

and found that they could love me

for me.

Posted in poetry for the masses
Tags: poetry

quotableness…

Nov 15
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happiness is a journey, not a destination…

“for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life. but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. at last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. this perspective has helped meto see there is no way to happiness. happiness is the way. so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.”

- souza

Posted in poetry for the masses