


fall is pretty
and Jenny and baby Jaida are lovely.
I love Jaida
she kicks Jenny all day long and she makes my Jenny go…. “fwoooooooooo”when she breathes.
Also I love Jaida because she is helpful. Jenny and I are indecisive.
“Jenny, are you hungry, wanna eat?
I don’t care.
Do you want to eat Rachel?
I don’t care.
Well what do you want to eat?
I dunno. What do you want to eat Rachel?
I don’t know.
Jaaaida??? Are you hungry? Yes!! Do you want tofu!? Yes!!”
oh Jaida, I love you!

Jenny and Jaida.

When I was 9, I had a baby sitter who didn’t want to hurt anything. She put it just like that when I asked her why she wasn’t having chicken with my older brother and me.
“Hurt anything?” I asked.
“You know that chicken is chicken, right?”
Frank shot me a look: Mom and Dad entrusted this stupid woman with their precious babies?
Her intention might or might not have been to convert us, but being a kid herself, she lacked whatever restraint it is that so often prevents a full telling of this particular story. Without drama or rhetoric, skipping over or euphemizing, she shared what she knew.
My brother and I looked at each other, our mouths full of hurt chickens, and had simultaneous how-in-the-world-could-I-have-never-thought-of-that-before-and-why-on-earth-didn’t-someone-tell-me? moments. I put down my fork. Frank finished the meal and is probably eating a chicken as I type these words.
What our baby sitter said made sense to me, not only because it seemed so self-evidently true, but also because it was the extension to food of everything my parents had taught me. We don’t hurt family members. We don’t hurt friends or strangers. We don’t even hurt upholstered furniture. My not having thought to include farmed animals in that list didn’t make them the exceptions to it. It just made me a child, ignorant of the world’s workings. Until I wasn’t. At which point I had to change my life.
((the link to the rest of this article is in go vegan- great read))
** Yes, this will be hanging on the little clip on her/his door.**
Dear Neighbor who lives in the apartment above me,
Hello! You don’t know me, but I live directly below you, in fact, I’m 99% sure that your bedroom is RIGHT above mine, and because the layout of this room is so weird, your bed is also probably in a very similar spot. So hey! We practically know each other, which is good, except for the fact that you and I are having some major issues, and I thought we might try and clear them up in case we actually meet face to face someday. You don’t want me to give you the stink eye. (I’m passive aggressive like that.)
You see, it’s like this. You’re kind of driving me crazy because you’re making me tired. I’m a full time nursing student so I need sleep like I never have before. I need at least 7 .5 hours and you are making this an impossible goal. My ears feel irritated, and dark circles are forming under my eyes… and it’s because I wake up early every morning since you moved in.
You thump. I stare at the ceiling. I grumble to no one in particular (since you can’t hear me) I calmly ask, “Are. You. Serious?” Sometimes, less calmly, I add, “SERIOUSLY!?” and I might pull my covers over my head (no, it does not help- it just feels dramatic) depending on how tired I am. But I consider myself a nice person, so I want to give you the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t think you want to intentionally make my mornings a little miserable, but there are possible bad habits which are causing a real rift in our apartment neighbor relationship.
I have tried to imagine what the heck is happening up there that creates the noise your feet make when they THUD! THUD! THUD!! directly above my sleepy head. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
1. You have a vigorous morning exercise ritual. You do several jumping jacks in the morning at your bedside.
2. You have a vigorous morning exercise ritual. You jump in place, then do laps around your bed.
3. Your bed posts are really high- like three feet off the ground- high, so you literally jump off your bed in the morning… but then you decide to make the jumping down and climbing back up part of that exercising, so you do it several times every morning.
Also, I should mention… I noticed you vacuum most nights at about 11:30 pm. Why? Oh, and how could I forget, you open then slam your dresser drawers shut. Are you angry at your clothes?
Might I suggest?
1. Use the apartment gym to exercise. It’s practically right out side our apartment door! You can run, you can do jumping jacks and you can even lift some weights.
2. Hang up your clothes or if you really hate them so much, take them all out of your drawers and give them to Goodwill.
3. Tennis balls. I figure I can lay them on the pillow next to me and when you get a little out of control with the exercising, I can chuck them at the ceiling as a gentle reminder for you to get yourself to the gym!
Be well and please, less stomping, it’s driving me crazy,
Rachel
Oh the life of a college student living in the city…with no car… who is in need of napkins.
My bike, though I love it, only fits about one bag of groceries. So what do you do when you have to buy tofu, bananas, laundry detergent, and napkins? It’s like “The Perfect Storm.” It’s practically a crisis situation.
Observe:

I told my napkins to stay on, and I was only semi confident that they actually would- but after just getting out of a 7 1/5 hour Sunday class, I was too tired for things like good-judgment or rationale. They took way too much energy at that point.
Ever have one of those days? So this is how it played out: First it started to sprinkle. (And by the way: Walking in the rain? Good. Running? Better. Biking? I’d rather memorize 15 drugs- for fun.) Then, I dropped my keys in the middle of the crosswalk (remember the long class/tired/lack of judgment thing?) So I turned around, grabbed my keys and while bending over, my beloved orange tic tacs fell out of my pocket. I laughed. But my napkins? Intact.
I made it halfway home- feeling like “Yah, I could buy napkins anytime! No biggie! …but then when I glanced back I noticed my napkins had dislodged themselves. Did I turn around for them? Um. Yes. There they were, rectangular and bright yellow packaging- in all their recycled-napkin glory. I grabbed them, (keys and orange tic tacs now safely zipped into my pocket) held them in my left hand, smiled at the elderly couple in the car who did not run me over (or my napkins for that matter) and went on my way- noticing that the drizzle had stopped.
The days of getting to pick more than five items at the grocery store are long gone. The days are here when I have to choose between salsa and a pound of grapes, buying napkins stresses me out, and toilet paper? (shudder) yah, that’s a 45 minute bus ride- You better bet your buns, we’re stocked up on that stuff. I don’t want to be biking through the drizzly city droppin my TP in the middle of the intersection. (I don’t care if it’s packaged- I’d adopt the same rule we have at the hospital- “If it drops, leave it!”
oh city. You make me miss my car terribly.
Why hello there! It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that I had something to say that didn’t have to do with “you know what” ((whispers) nursing school). I recently told my roommate (proudly, I might add) that I hadn’t thought about “you know what” all day- but then questioned if thinking about how you haven’t thought about something, actually counts as thinking about the thing itself. I’m pretty sure it does not. But perhaps I’m lying to myself in a desperate attempt to escape anything nursing school- at least for three weeks that is. Omy. Because of my words, you are probably thinking to yourself. “Wow, she really hates school!” Not true- it’s just that… let me explain… Someone recently asked me if nursing school was ‘kicking my ass’, I told them that it didn’t kick it so much as it made it sore. That’s right. It’s not school in itself that I desperately needed a break from; it was the building, it was Baltimore in general. We literally spent 12 1/2, 9 1/2, 7 1/2 (our blessed “short day”) hours sitting in classrooms, or being in lab. Then we’d come home and sit at our desks and work on assignments.
Our bony prominences hurt. Real bad! And if there’s one thing I can take away from my first semester, I’ve learned that long sedentary hours on bony prominences can lead to pressure ulcers. Bad news bears people. Don’t worry, I did not develop pressure ulcers on my prominences. I’m way too wiggly for that.
Aside from my memories of my prominences, and soreness, and long hours in room 140, I am again, feeling happy as a lark, but this time, because I am free for two more weeks!
In other unrelated happy news:
Rachel got a bike!! (I don’t compeltely know why that was written in third person) but it’s awesome!! Way better than my expensive little REI bike that is sitting in Seattle. I got my vintage French red bike with a basket and bell (thank you Mya!) for $75!! I know, I know, you are soo jealous, but don’t judge me for what I am about to say… I deserved it.
In other not as exciting, but almost as equally important news: New York. I was there for the first time and it was splendid! I walked probably 20 miles (I’m totally serious) so I didn’t feel the least bit bad about my lack of self restraint as I ate a gluten free, vegan; oatmeal raisin cookie for breakfast, chocolate cupcake for dessert, and chocolate cheese cake for my other dessert.

Alrighty friends! Sorry to rush off in such a hurry, but I have just been informed that I must finish now! I’m on my way to the beach with a car full of bikes!
More soon!
Loves!
Last night was admittedly difficult. Baltimore can feel like a very lonely place and I am not particularly fond of crying.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel blessed to be here, and 92% of the time, I’m happy as a lark keeping busy with school. As you can imagine there isn’t much time carved out in my planner to fit in, “pity party 10:00 pm” Though I do manage it occasionally.
Because of my little unscheduled pity party last night, I didn’t get enough sleep- alas, it was a long day, a great day at the hospital, but long.
This is the place in the story where the wise woman would go to bed. I can be unwise. I also can’t go to bed at 8:00. So I decided to run through my neighborhood for the first time!
I think part of my disconnectedness with Baltimore is the fact that I haven’t been able to run through it’s streets. Running through my neighborhood is how I become acclimated to my surroundings, and not being able to acclimate myself after being here for five weeks has made things quite difficult. This little hip issue of mine, has really thrown a wrench in my life, but I decided it’s been felling pretty good, so I thought I’d give it a little test run. I walked past my gym full of safe ellipticals and stationary bikes, and walked through the gate and I ran. It was beautiful.
I think I often describe things as glorious, but truly, it was. I ran through Mt Vernon the top of this hill, past the Walter Museum, past some beautiful monuments, and past some parks with lightning bugs. Lightning bugs make me smile. They remind me of my summers in Ohio. Glorious lightning bugs. Then there were the buildings. Mt Vernon has some very beautiful historical architecture with charming mini parks in between. I ran past people dining outside in the heat of the evening while the sun was setting. They were smiling and laughing and eating delicious food. Glorious.
I stopped at the intersection with the cathedral and the Washington monument. Amazing. I will never get used to how beautiful they are.



At the intersection at one of the parks there was a boom box, yes, just like in the 80’s with the late Michael Jackon blaring and people dancing randomly. I had no idea why, so I walked up and talked to them. Great people. As much as I love dancing, I had to decline. Sweaty Rachel in sweaty running shorts, makes for an uncomfortable dancer! But anyhow, it too was glorious!
Then there was Oggie. I love Oggie. Oggie is this beautiful dog who was in the park. I petted Oggie and told the owner that she should definitly bring Oggie to the hospital to visit patients because he is such a perfect dog!
My leg managed to let me run that short distance and I was so thankful because I think I really needed to get out and explore the neighborhood when I was in my element…not hurrying to class, but peacefully, happily enjoying my surroundings while I ran through them.
But just for your peace of mind, (for those of you who watch The Wire) No worries… with my hip, I defintely will not make this a habit. I was just thankful to get out and appreciate my new home for the next year.
Oh, and my glorious little night wouldn’t be complete without telling you how I ended it by laying “illegally” next to our pool and letting my legs dangle in. There’s nothing like Sufan Stevens, and your own thoughts of contentedness to send you off to blog and bed with a smile.
goodnight.
It’s such a beautiful day here in charm city! It’s one of those blue sky, “I love this city” (even if I really don’t!) kind of days! I finally made it to the farmers market, which is at the bottom of the hill, and it was awesome! For roughly $20 I got: 10,000 lbs of kale 
(haha, okay it was 1 lb. but 1 lb. of kale is more than I can eat in a week, and here’s the best thing: $1. I also got spring onions for .75, a salad mix, blueberries, strawberries, 
and my personal favorite:
I LOVE cosmos! They are my favorite flower!
And did I mention that most everything I bought was organic and locally grown!? Yay for supporting local farmers!
Next week, I plan on buying some herbs and veggies that are pretty hard to kill (squash and eggplant) and start my balcony garden!
on my vegan page! pictures of …
ice cream and links to great slide shows from msnbc (where i got the butterfly picture below)
enjoy!
the time which i have found that i experience with all too much familiarity is quickly approaching.
i hate saying goodbye…so much so, that i usually barely even do. when i know i won’t see someone for a very long time, i usually say “bye”, in the same manner i would if i was going to the grocery store to pick up some hummus. it’s quick, it’s sweet, it’s not sad. i mean, i will be right back. only in this case, the ‘right’, is pretty much relative.
so it’s time to say ‘be right back’ to my roommates. i think a time of reminiscing is appropriate here, so when we start to feel sad about the separate ways that we all eventually go, we can think back and laugh.
and no worries, i will try really hard NOT to embarrass anyone… though i can think of some really funny stories involving- the not using of razors and purple sweatshirt/dresses. i still laugh about this randomly.
also, driving to school in 5 degree weather with the windows down. why? you totally know.
then there was the recent night when after painting mini canvases, we decided our kitchen table needed a little more color. now our table is full of what i call “girl graffiti”. there are hearts, flowers, a random horse, a bird with disproportionate legs, and “ben + alison = love 4 eva” tagged. it’s quite a sight, and i will be sad to not see it.

but when you get real sad, think of men who hate having their bangs cut- they will both randomly and continuously shout while everyone else is studying or pretending to be studying; “I HATE MY HAIR!”
tall beautiful blond women are apparently very persuasive.
…or there’s our exercise bike.

i think it was bekah’s grandparent’s bike from the 50’s? not sure, but it’s real old. back in the day, i think things were made to last, so our little exercise bike, keeps on going, and we sporadically keep using it. as good as it is for a workout, there’s one thing it might be even better for. and that- is a chair. maybe it’s because i’m short. maybe it’s because i’m fidgety. maybe it’s because i love biking, and it makes me think of my time in portland. but whatever the reason. i prefer sitting on the bike to the floor-couch.
it’s like a bar stool with pedals. awesome.
so there we were one night hanging out… and because i use the bike for a chair, it seemed perfectly reasonable for me to sit in it while eating chocolate and drinking red wine- look! no hands! (yes, i’m that talented!) i didn’t honestly think that my simultaneous pedaling/eating would cancel out my sugar consumption, but for whatever reason, like i said, it seemed like a good idea… not weird at all. i was alone in that thought. apparently, sitting on your stool/bike while eating food, is odd? it’s not like i’d do it at the gym, (unless i was real famished?) that’s my only defense.
so… happy memories, good times, and hooray for social networks that allow us to be nosey without guilt and stay superficially connected!


…as she exited the building; her anatomy and physiology class completed… forever.
yup, that was me this morning. i am SO happy! nursing school starts three weeks from today, so out of the 56 or so weeks since i’ve been taking classes non stop to get my prerequisites done for nursing school, i have about three weeks to breathe. i never thought this day would actually come. but it’s finally here, and it’s just as glorious as i had imagined. and i imagined it a lot.
so this “preparation-for-preparation” phase of my life is officially over and i am now moving into the “preparation-for-career” phase. though i’m nervous as heck and scared, i am also really excited for the opportunities i will have during the program. i’m most excited about the birth companion program, since my goal is to work primarily with women as a nurse midwife and teaching preventive methods to people living in poverty in developing countries.
anyhoo. i’ll be blogging for my school soon. so i’ll be on here less. you’ll be able to access it through the my school’s website->nursing->student blogs… i’m sure it’ll only be like once a month with the busy-ness and all, but i’ll be writing about all the amazing things i’m learning and experiencing- things like, “i drew blood today!” (maybe interesting to you? haha!) yay!
current reads.
http://rachelreveries.wordpress.com/current-reads/
———————>
add some of your own too!

hey, guess what i saw when i was reading/watching the news today?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/30376955#30376955
the rescue, is happening tomorrow! can’t wait to tell you all how it goes…
check out my new page. ”Go Vegan!”
there’s a lot of debate going on apparently. enjoy!
so it’s been nearly eight months since my tragic little injury, that kept me from doing one of the things i love the most-
running.
if you’ll recall from my september-ish, posts, i was full of much lamenting, mourning, grieving…whatever. i really missed running in a big way, and i literally went through the process in stages. first there was the denial- yes i actually kept running on it- telling myself that i just had a REALLY stiff muscle, until i was limping severely and unable to walk like a normal person. it was mildly embarrassing. then, there was the anger. i tried to replace running with swimming, but i found that with every stroke, i’d feel myself hating the water even more, only because i felt like i didn’t choose swimming, it was one of the only exercises i could manage, so swimming chose me.
((i still have my swimming pass. it’s definitely not my favorite way to get my heart moving, but i no longer glare at the pool before i jump in.))
then there was grief- it sucked. when my roommate ran the marathon that we were both signed up for, i think for the first time in my adult life, i went to bed at 7:00, (after sleeping the entire afternoon) because i hated the day and i wanted it to end.
after that, came acceptance, well lets call it a kind of “begrudging mild acceptance”- and then it was back to the pool for laps.
so anyway, here i am, as i said nearly eight months later. i’ve taken up running again, though very, very slowly- and this time, i’m actually learning some lessons.
first, running doesn’t define me. i guess outward accomplishments never really should- i’d like to think that we’re all more accurately “defined”, if we are defined by the inward person. but, i wasn’t thinking about that. instead, i felt somehow defined for my affinity for running long distances. i liked that i could wake up way too early, lace up my shoes and know that thirteen miles was no big deal. i liked that people thought it was so crazy that i could run like that, because for me, it was easy and i loved the feeling of release and strength it gave my body and mind. part of running defining me was that i liked that it made me sort of ‘unique’, and being drawn the unique-ity of uniqueness is probably pretty typical- so not really unique at all. so while i spend more time walking or swimming, i’ve tried to be more intentional about being introspecitve and ponder how my inward person is defining me.
second, i’m learning some self control. this sounds ridiculous… maybe. but if you’re a runner, you may be able to relate. when i first started running again a few months ago, i was allowed to run in five minute intervals. basically i spent a lot of time walking in my running shoes. more than anything, i wanted to keep on going and not stop when i hit my five minutes. it just was so unfulfilling somehow, and terribly unfair. but as strong as my will was to run i knew that if i ever wanted my stride back, i had to limit myself. i never run everyday anymore, and i try to stay off of pavement when i can. it’s hard, especially when i think about how things used to be, but now, it’s just not worth it.
and last, i’m learning to respect my body. admit it, when you’re young and everything works well, you just take advantage of it. we don’t think about our achy muscles and problem backs that will cause us pain in our 40’s when we’re in our 20’s. not only am i guilty of probably causing my own injury by not being more careful, but i am also guilty of doing stupid things like walking in crappy shoes that kill my feet, just because they’re cute. i want to be able to summit mt rainer, trek the himalayas, and trek the andes. I want to explore new zealand, finish the israelli trail, backpack in scotland, and hike the appalachian trail… and believe it or not, i’ll probably not be in my 20’s, when many of my trekking dreams are realized.
so… my incentive is also someday.
anyhow, there is my little update on running. two weeks ago i ran three miles on a nice soft wooded trail and it felt great and i enjoyed the trees and the sounds of left over fall leaves, crunching under my feet.
i still love running and some days, especially when the sun is bright, i can’t wait to get out and move, the difference is the self awarness and respect i’ve gained from my limitations.

“Human nature will not flourish, any m ore than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generation, in the same worn-out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
i’ve been reading jhumpa lahiri’s book “unaccustomed earth” this week. it’s been an intersting read. definitely not your feel good, laugh out loud, kind of book. it’s a compilation of eight short stories which give accounts from just about every perspective, of being torn between being “american” and being bengali at the same time. it’s a book about ignorance, disappointment, betrayal, expectations, love, death, grief, and greed. it’s depressing. but i’m intrigued anyway. i guess most of the intriguing stories are that way…depressing, raw, and real.
as i was reading i kept thinking back to nathanial hawthorne’s quote that prefaces the stories that followed. when i opened this book and read it, i thought “exactly!” but i’m thinking the book isn’t a reinforcement of the beauty of this idea. though, hawthorne’s qoute still resonates with me, i am sobered by the reality of the sacrifce that comes with planting potatoes in new soil. i’m the second generation in my familys uprooting, and i must admit, though i am thankful for the opportunities being “american” has afforded me, there is a loss that can not be recompensed when ones culture is detached, taken, or lost in some way. not that everyone’s experience is the same, but being in america, (depending on where you’re from, the extreme depends on your geographical location!) i’ve been asked if i was “even born here”, and asked if i was everything from: chinese to iranian, israeli, puerto rican, phillipino, native american, and most recently eastern european. weird! i know. but going to korea, with only half asian eyes that are green and slightly frizzy brown hair, as opposed to dark almond eyes, and sleek black hair- not to mention i only can speak about 6 words in korean… i definitely stood out. also weird situation.
not that this is all negative, my experience, though sad in some respects is also unique and beautiful and privileged in it’s own way. i mean i grew up eating kimchee and our house smelled like ginger and spices and the first time i had subway i was 18. when i go home i get served seaweed soup… don’t turn your nose at me. it’s good.
unacustomed earth.
i can’t wait to travel to scotland and ireland some day. the only physical thing i’ll have in common with that part of my heritage is my last name and green eyes.
oh unacustomed earth.
oh potatoes.
