sorry dr. vreeland, you have been replaced by my aunt as having the best quote…while quotes on exegesis are thought provoking, and in your case…even slightly humorous, my aunt is hilarious…
so after it was evident that there would be no more trick or treaters, my aunt and i retreated to the big comfy couch to watch some gordon ramsey and ummm… you know, properly dispose of the left overs…
she proceeds to offer me an oreo… “no thank you, allergic”, i say… “but it doesn’t matter, i hate them anyway”
with a mouth full of bite-sized crunchy chocolate and orange filling sugary sweetness, she then proclaims, in her lovley asian accent, and full of firey emotion and conviction- “yah, i know, me too, american cookies and candy are so gross!!!”
“god, i HATE oreos!!!”
(lol…and we will explain the empty bowl of “american candy,” how?) 
happy halloween…
ahh virginia… i love virginia.since i’ve been here virginia has been warm and sunny, but this week, the rain faucets finally turned on,and it is pouring…it’s torrential.
seriously, the rain is coming down in sheets… at times it’s coming down so hard that it’s not just coming “down”, it’s also coming sideways, and UP… so the umbrella…not so helpful.Under the ‘protection’ of my umbrella, my hair may be ‘relativley’ dry (you know the rain-frizzed hair), but i’ll be sloshing around in my shoes and my pants will become completly soaked in a matter of minutes. (i really should invest in some thigh high galloshes- do they eixist?!)
and by the way…
i love the rain…usually.(there is just something so pleasant and tranquil in the quiet of running through puddles when the rest of the world seems to be avoiding the weather, and about doing nothing while you listen to the rain hit the roof top.)
however.today..
instead of feeling charmed by the rain…happy about the rain…smiling because of the rain….i was feeling cursed by it… it was bothering me.
i felt like the literal rain cloud was following me, just like in the cartoons where the grey cloud all the sudden starts dumping onto the character, exacerbating an already crappy situation…
this was caused by what started as a happy afternoon…my aunt and i go out to lunch, mexican… mmmmm… chips and salsa.. (always a happy experince when that combination is involved). so anyways, there we were, crunching away on south of the border-goodness, when…we decided to go shopping. (fast forward through looking at all sorts of adorabe things)i go up to pay… (enter dramatic descending scale…”dun dun dun”)my wallet was missing!
this is the second time in the past three months that a situation like this happened, so i went for the “calm- there’s nothing i can do right now- be chill-method”…(which by the way does allow for the self-pitying sulking).
here is where the rain becomes relevant again…
as i leave the store to walk to the restraunt, then to check the car… the rain comes… but it doesn’t just rain… it’s like a waterfall opened above my head. i was thinking to myself…
“lowpoint.”or“why god why….??…!”
all in all. i figure i handeled it pretty well. i didn’t even shed a tear… or even if i did, it wouldn’t matter because i was soooooooooo incredibly soaked that no one, not even a really really intuitive- sensitive WOMAN could tell.
so… the rain is still falling heavily outside my window.my wallet is back,i have some warm dry sweats on,a mug of hot tea to sip on…
and the rain is once again peaceful, instead of mean.
this is by my favorite poet,
summer!!
heres to better days
because this day sucked
heres to better ways
of seeing things
because my
world is dying
slowing wilting
fading away,
come now, come now,
better days
heres to not crying
do the tears ever stop
will my heart cease beating for
a memory lost
heres to cheap thoughts
and slow soft well
you know
heres to being wrong
and laughing anyway
heres to kissing ass
to get my way
heres to me
and heres to you
heres to short goodbyes
and long hellos
to morning coffee
brewed nice and slow
to bagels and cream cheese
to lovers and losers
heres to better ways
spent on better days
cause this day sucked
tonight i found a quiet spot
and laid down in the cool grass
i turned off the extra noise
and listened only
to the steady rythym
that insects make in the dark
and to the sound of my own
rythym
breathing in…exhaling out…the crisp night air.
it’s late
and i am tired
but
i can’t close my eyes
not yet
because as always
the countless expanse of stars
hovering above me
holds my gaze with intensity
and
i feel as if i am looking
into the face
of my
creator
today i decided to write a ‘happy poem’
this is my second attempt at such a task
and
this time
i may not suceed… (again).
melancholy subject matter
is so much more easy-the words drip from my heart
into my pen ink
and
onto the paper.
but writing about happiness?
a poem that will make you smile?
i am stumped.
genuinely stumped.
…….
i like lists…not very “poetic” to be sure.
but like i said, happy words do not flow
with the same ease.
2.my friends- you are a happy thing- i love you, i love you!
3.my family- you are also a happy thing- i love you so much!
1.God- you are usually (but not always), a source of happiness- you, i love
4.chocolate- quite a happy thing, (until, in my sadness, i eat too much of you, and you end up making me feel kind of crappy)
and there is so much more:
stars, and trees, and being outside, and running, and oceans, and music
but
writing…!
5.writing- you are such a happy thing-how i love you (!)
especially when i get to write about sad things…(but this poem is about happiness)
so…
Happiness:
temporary
and
fleeting
And
fickle(you are)
yet there is so much in life that brings it to me
but
just because i can’t write about it
as i wish i could,
articulate it poetically,
wrap it in a tiny box
with a pretty bow
and deliver it to you with a smile
does not mean
that i don’t have it
(despite what you have read,
happiness does not elude me…!)
it is here.
somwhere in the moments
between
my chocolate,
god,
people,
and
being sad.
