the view from here

As of about three weeks ago, there is this little five word phrase that continuously echos through the halls of our school. It makes its way up the stairs, to the line of our favorite coffee cafe where we wait for shots of espresso and bagels, and into our tired little ears.

I am so over it.

This little phrase has come in so handy these last few weeks because it has centered me.  It may sound like I’m  just being apathetic and irresponsible, or slightly immature, but really, it’s just a unique (or not so unique) way of saying that I am REALLY tired and I am at that moment, actively evaluating my priorities and shifting them from a place that makes me really unbalanced and unhappy to having perspective and choosing to be quite happy with my present circumstances!

Part of my philosophy this semester has been “work hard, but not too hard,” so that I  can smile, laugh a lot, and actually have fun and have a life in nursing school. (As opposed to saying it was the worst year of my life, which we’ve heard!) Everybody’s goals here are different. Some of us come in wanting straight A’s. And some people will actually accomplish that. But to do that, meaningful relationships, adequate time away from school, and sleep have to be put on hold for 13.5 months. After day one, I realized this would be impossible for me. Plus we got an awesome lecture from one of my favorite professors on how beautiful the letter B was and how curvaceous and cute C’s were!

So last weekend, I chose to not study much for my exam, but instead took a much needed break to hike the Appalachian trail with Mark and Kelly and spend time with my new niece cat, Spicee and eat lots of delicious food and sleep.

Then, I got a B. I started to get my feathers ruffled for about three minutes and then thought to myself…”I am so over it!”

Translation: “Wait, I had a pretty awesome weekend. I would trade getting an A, for the Appalachian trail and the blue ridge mountains of Shenandoah and margaritas and great food and spending time with my brother and sister any day!”

So, school is busy. Really busy, when we run out of things to do, I think they just start making up new random assignments just because they can. But no matter, don’t let my comments or grades taint your veiw of my semester! It’s been great! It’s been full of school work; but also new friends, crazy festivals, phone converstations with people I love, Rhode Island, and weekends with Mark and Kelly! We  are officially drawing to a close, next week is our last week of classes! And I will officially be 1/4 of a nurse! yay! Next semester, my goal is to make it to week 11 before I start with the five words!

Finals week is quickly approaching, and by “quickly”, I mean I have less then three, yes, THREE weeks of classes left and I am stoked. I rarely use that word, but it just felt so… appropriate. August will be like heaven! In four weeks I finally get to see New York and then go back to RI and Mass. where I will be able to catch up with friends, and then… there’s MYA! Oh my Mya! She will be flying here in 7 1/2 weeks and we can discover more of this city together. It will be amazing.

This is how I manage this program… You have just witnessed one of my best coping methods. I count down. I’m serious! I know exactly how much time I have left (45 weeks of classes/transitions). It’s a beautiful thing. Time is flying by and I am learning and learning and learning.

Once I was in seminary and that was hard because the more I learned the less I knew that I knew. Which in itself was not necessarily a bad thing. It was beautiful and humbling. But Theology is not something you can ever fully “get.” One can never truly accomplish the feat of knowing all there is to know about God. He is the perpetual wonderful mystery. So you find yourself fulfilled in your learning and your questions and your thoughts, but sometimes it’s hard accepting that you cant’ just pass a test and say “I’ve got it! It totally makes sense now!” Sometimes you still lay awake at night, and just wonder.

Here is where nursing school is the total opposite of seminary. It’s a different kind of beautiful and also a different kind of humbling. Everything is so tangible. We have studies, and statistics… we have evidence based practice- and then we have tests, (…and this is sometimes where our humility comes in!) I learn kinesthetically and I need to practice something so I can understand and retain it. This explains why last week even though it hurt so bad, I gave myself a subcutaneous shot in my thigh, a glucose stick on my finger and three of the same shot on my calf because I needed to figure out how to administer an intradermal shot properly. I wanted to make sure that when my patient trustingly gave me her arm, that I wouldn’t make her say “OUCH!” super loud like I did to myself in class last week. And so… I drew up my “meds”- again, and again and again and my leg had the tiniest little bruises, but I can give an ID shot! Also, I passed my sign offs for med administration, (woot! woot!) and last week in the hospital, the nurse I was working with on the unit let me check for glucose levels (that one hurts!) and give insulin to her patient. I was soooo excited- I brought it down probably five notches, then calmly walked into my patient’s room and told him what I was going to do…the best part? I told him, “I’m sorry, I know this really hurts, huh? I gave myself (Proudness!!) one last week to see what it felt like! We’ll be quick.” He just shrugged his shoulders and told me it was not big deal. Dang. (Humbleness!) My pain tolerance must be close to 1! I paid careful attention to my little purple/pink throbbing finger  throughout the morning and also spent the morning feeling very bad for diabetics and wondering if my finger would ever “heal!” We nursing students can become little hypochondriacs I guess. But this is another other blog. Sometime I will tell you about asking my roommate to do a peripheral vascular assessment on me at 11:00 pm, then asking if I could give her one (for comparison purposes!)

Well, that’s all my random news for now, two days till Friday- Washington DC, Mark and Kelly!! Yayyyy!

* ps. and just so you don’t freak out like my step mom (hahaha)  The syringes are filled with good old saline, so I’m not injecting myself with random expired drugs! She was like “Raachhhheellll, You be careful! Do not put all those drugs into yourself! You will get sick!” Hilarious.

*pss. peripheral vascualr assessment by roommate went well- We are apparently healthy! Phew!

As many of you know, I’ve been in hard core nursing school for the past two weeks. I say “hard core” because it’s the accelerated program. This means I’ll be in school for the next 13 months with 6 weeks of breaks- three for summer three for Christmas- and oh man, do we ever look forward to, and talk about those breaks like there’s no tomorrow!
This week I had my first clinical. This means, vital signs on a REAL patient as opposed to your roommate and the five or so other people in the program who’s normal blood pressures you’ve already memorized because you’ve practiced on them over and over and over again!
So I definitely had issues getting my patient’s v/s., but he was REALLY nice, and also my clinical instructor was amazing! Which made me feel less bad about my failure to inflate the pump adequately, and my patient’s falling asleep when I still had 45 minutes left to go! He must have been real tired.

I’ve truly been having the best experience so far ever. (Remind me of this the week I have three midterms due and two papers, which I’ve heard are between 14-30 pages.) But like I said,

So far, LOVE the program, LOVE the instructors… the only thing I can say I DON’T like:
UNIFORMS. scrubs: (can be) cute. OUR scrubs? not cute. I figure they don’t want us to be overly confident yet!

Here’s the problem: they are made for men, who apparently have long legs, fat thighs, skinny ankles, and butts that sag to the back of your knee. it’s pretty awesome. and by awesome, I mean anything but that.

Now, as for my schedule, it basically looks like this:

6:15 wake up, Bible, work out, smoothie, school from 8-5:20 (most days) home, phone, skype, study?? sleep! Wake up, repeat!
There are tests/quizzes/papers/sign offs pretty much every single day of the week, and usually things due Sunday. Oh yes and did I mention the size and amount of Text books. Yes, we read them ALL. Most from cover to cover which is equal to hundreds and hundreds of pages of reading for the summer.
nice.

I’m not complaining, I’m just giving you a glimpse of what life is like in nursing school in case you are considering an accelerated program or in case you are a friend wondering why i don’t call as much as I used to. And truly friends, even if we don’t talk much I LOVE you as much- possibly MORE than I used to! I love remembering frequently that YES, I have a life out of nursing school! It’s not so geographically close and connected as I prefer, but it is filled with some pretty lovely people that I am thankful to know!

loves!